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September 23, 2003

I Hate Bumper Stickers!

I hate bumper stickers. Its not just that I hate then, I really despise them.

Do people that put them on their cars really think that a 4 inch x 12 inch piece of printed plastic is going to make me change my mind about some subject or make me think that they are better people? I want to be one of the first to tell them that it will not. Since that little piece of plastic is their little soapbox, similar to the The Angry Fat Man, I guess I can't fault them. But, that doesn't keep me from commenting on some of the less intelligent ones that I have seen.

First of all, we have the political bumper stickers. I admire the ability for someone to support a political candidate, but you must feel like a real dumbass driving around with a Gore-Lieberman bumper sticker today.

Then, you have the religious bumper stickers... Some of these stickers really amaze me. I saw one yesterday that said "Pray the Rosary". If you are Catholic, I suppose that is a good sentiment, but why does it need to be on a bumper sticker? If I am out driving and praying the rosary, then I would probably need "Jesus as my co-pilot". On those same lines, the WWJD stickers ask an interesting question... He would probably not be driving around with a bumper sticker on his car that said "What would I do?" Lastly, you have the Jesus fish / Darwin fish stickers that have been fighting it out on the back of cars recently... Give it up. Neither one is going to win at this point.

Next you have the bumper stickers that try to teach me a lesson... Things like "Hang up and drive." Instead, I'll concentrate on reading your bumper sticker instead.

Then you have the general sentiment bumper stickers. I saw one that offered a very simple sentiment today. It said "F$%k you." That was all. My, how the intelligence of the human race has declined.

The last one is the nearly ubiquitous "My child is an honor student at XYZ school." I hate to tell you, your kid may be an honor student, but you are an idiot. Hmm... I hope that Noah doesn't get too pissed off when I try to get out of putting that up on my car.

"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker." -Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)

September 22, 2003

I Love Me!

Last night was one of Hollywood's big I Love Me parties. The Emmy Awards. I usually get a kick out of watching these type of award shows because I like to see if anything that I actually likes wins. Inevitably, they don't. What is popular for the people does not always translate into awards, which leads me to the first part of my rant... That is that these shows are really not that great of a barometer to show what is popular with television viewers. Rather, they are the result of people lobbying other acadamy members for votes. Like any other election, proper campaigning can lead the vote in whatever direction that you want it. The Emmy Awards are not nearly as bad as the Oscar's. That is why you always hear about people campaigning and lobbying for an Oscar. Not that this is a real problem, it really doesn't matter. But, other than being somewhat entertaining, I just don't put much weight in it.

On to the second part of my rant... For those of you that watched it last night, you will know what I am talking about. What was the deal with Wanda Sykes. I have seen her in movies before, but last night she was two things: annoying and stupid. Even the venerable Bill Cosby wasn't really all that impressed with her and let her know, and I would assume that it takes quite a bit to piss him off. That was about enough to make me change the channels. I didn't, but I did use her as an excuse to leave the room whenever she walked on stage.

"Nothing would disgust me more, morally, than receiving an Oscar." -Luis Bunuel (1900 - 1983)

September 19, 2003

I'm Tired of Denver Drivers!

I almost got into my third accident this morning. Now before you jump to conclusions that I'm one of those people who speed and don't see the stupid things that I do and how I anger people on the road, STOP. I know I'm not the greatest driver in the world and I've had my fair share of close calls, all caused by me.

These people in Denver, on the other hand....OWN THE ROAD. This isn't a statement of financial governance that everyone pays taxes and those taxes go to fixing roads, this is a statement of fact. If you believe in something so bad, it must become fact, right???? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle if these no-brained nitwit granola eating ex-hippy corporate slime and their demon puppy offspring don't all think they own the road. I mean, I'm sorry if your little TT or Mitsu sports sled cost you too much, or your H2 is too big to even be on the road, but that doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want on OUR roads!!!

I'm happily driving to work this morning and I was halfway there, sipping my super big gulp of heart stopping diet-cola, when the lady behind me decides I'm going too slow. Mind you, I usually drive about 50 in the 45, so this hose beast was obviously in a hurry. We had just started out from a light, so of course I hadn't punched it to get up to full acceleration as I knew there was a light right over the hill. She proceeded to not only pass me, but glare at me, as if my car offended her senses. She was obviously one of those exception to the rule, non-blonde airheads and realized her pull off was about 50 yards ahead of us. So she jumps right in front of me, a good two feet from my front plate and proceeds to slam on her brake. I, of course not wanting to harm my recently repaired old-fart-sedan, slammed my breaks as well. I knew I was close to her, because I could barely see half of her license plate, and the "oh crap" feeling started to set in. You know, that pulse pounding, fight or flight, the airbag is about to shove my straw up my nose feeling? All the way into her little parking lot she was hitting her brakes and looking behind, as I slowly started moving again, probably afraid that I was going to get out my gat and start bustin some caps....but I fear I had left my gat at home, and my caffeine high was starting to kick in, so I just tootled on to work, somewhat flushed and happy to be alive.

Stoopid Denver Drivers!!!!!

"Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. " - Budd Schulberg

September 14, 2003

Business 101

I can't believe the airline industry is losing money. They have a product that 90% of the world has to have at some point. If you count the fact that most of the air cargo shipped in the United States moves in the cargo hold of commercial airliners that number probably climbs even further.

How is it that an industry that we are so dependant upon be losing money? It is simple. They have no idea how to price what they do. Their pricing should not be as difficult as they make it. Figure the cost of a seat on the plan, tack on your markup and sell it. I understand that there are other things that play in to that price, such as fuel costs and how much cargo is on the aircraft, but their pricing should not be that bad.

Take, for instance, the following scenario. I am traveling on business to Indianapolis tomorrow. I am flying from Kansas City to Saint Louis and then on to Indianapolis. One of my business partners lives in Saint Louis and will be traveling to Indianapolis as well. My flight was $385. His flight, leaving from Saint Louis on the same plane as I am on, was $860. How does that work? It makes no sense to me at all. A one-way ticket from Saint Louis to Kansas City is $110. So, he is flying to Kansas City to take the same flight as I am. Flying further for around $400 less that it would have been to fly only from Saint Louis.

I guess the biggest thing that pisses me off about all of this is that, after 9/11/2001, the government had to bail the airlines out with grants and low interest loans. I know that these industries are very important to the overall economy, but it looks to me like part of their problem is their own fault.

"The price is what you pay; the value is what you receive." - Author Unknown

September 12, 2003

Despair and Woe

I think it is sad that such a disaster had to befall the nation and that we lost so many lives to the 9/11 terrorist hijackings and subsequent building collapses. I thought it was a moving tribute to have the children and loved ones of the many fallen read the names aloud in memorium. I remember exactly where I was when the first plane hit and watched as most America did when the second plane struck. But I had to move on.....

Death is an inevitability that is true to all who exist. No one can live forever and we should celebrate those that lived and were heroes of the day, and celebrate the lives of those who were lost. Is it the fact that their death was the pivotal moment in their lives? A bleak existence leading up to a horrifying end that needs to be sensationalized? We shall never forget the names, the videos, the pictures that surfaced in the weeks and months after the tragedy, but it's time that we all move on. The tragedy did not hit very close to home for me, but my mom knew folks that were killed in the government offices and David Angell, a 3rd or 4th cousin was on one of the planes. I still can't imagine focusing on the death of a loved one as my focus of being, life is mercurial and death nearly random, let the survivors and children move on, let them live the life their loved ones wanted them to live. Are we building a legacy of tragedy and hate, or are we allowing those who have passed to move on with love in our hearts?

One of my best friends' father passed on in the fall quite a few years ago. I've seen what happens when a family loves each other and holds each other up in the face of tragedy. In that quick and unforseen moment, a loved one was ripped away from the reality we know as life, but the family knew they had to move on and live their lives the way he taught them. Love with your heart as much as you can every moment of your life and continue to live the way those who have passed would want you to, for that is a true and lasting legacy...

To Ralph Simpson, A good man, A great father, and someone who I am a better person for having known! And to the fallen of 9/11 and their family and friends, Bless you and may God hold you in his arms.

September 07, 2003

Deafening Silence

OK. OK. It has been a long time since I have written anything. I do have a good excuse.

It has been a really busy couple of weeks. The low point was when the sump pump in my basement died and the basement flooded. The high point was that we survived it all.

Life is getting back to normal, so plan on seeing more out here soon...

"Silence propogates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say". - Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)