The Angry Fat Man

Okay, so I'm rolling back to work, and I've got my phone in my ear, as I'm on a conference call. I roll up to an intersection and I see a jackass with no helmet but a snazzy little blue and yellow ass-suit riding his bike on the right shoulder....and his chick he either wants to impress or show off for is meandering behind him.

Alright, when I was a kid, I knew share the road, I understood share the road. This fucker just wanted the road...and since he was on his little bike, he felt he deserved it. True, I could have stopped and let him go over in front of me, but he wasn't even pointing, or making a signal of any kind, just kind of looking behind him.

So, this master of the lignuistic arts yells, "Share the road you fat fuck". While I'm a heavy guy and know it, this generally enrages me when idiots make a mistake and/or try to showoff for their lady friends by belittling me. I politely rolled my window down and stated, "you're at an intersection, you should get in the turn lane before traffic comes to a stop, or cross at the crosswalk. If you're in a lane, use hand signals" and of course, I had to add....."DUMBFUCK!"

Do I think that I got the last word in and maybe he felt stupid? Yes and no. To feel stupid, you have to realize that you are...I don't think he understood that he was in the wrong. This Share The Road bullshit only works when you play it right. Like do I care when I see a guy on a cruiser using handsignals, no, I just figure he wants to let us know doubly sure that he's turning, now do I hate that same bastard for rolling through the gap between two cars or riding up the shoulder? Yes!!! If you're going to ride your little bike on the same road with the big gas-powered automobiles, instead of finding a nice wooded trail, prepare to be cut-off, honked at, and rode like a mule and generally scoffed. Because you know what? It wouldn't take but one flick of my foot, and in the end....

I WIN!

-Update-
Yes, it was a bicycle, an unmotorized, pedal powered, you had one when you were 10, bike.
And we were on a 6 lane HIGHWAY, it's not called Northwest HIGHWAY because it's a small access road....this jackass wanted to cross 3 lanes of real traffic to get into one of the 2 lanes of turning traffic.....HIGHWAY!!!