Bust a Gut
This may not be kosher to talk about, but I'm intrigued by the fact that people don't want you to know they are relieving themselves in workplace bathrooms.
You know what I mean, before you open the door you hear the bombastic explosions and blood curdling screams (okay grunts, screams would just creep my ass out and I'd go upstairs to go to the bathroom if I heard that); then you walk in and all of a sudden the poor bastard is holding his breath and his butt...not even breathing loud from the horrible exertion of his recently acquired alcoholic dissentary.
C'mon, we all have bad burrito-eating, coffee drinking, bran muffin, ate some bad tuna, shouldn't have had all those beers kind of days...and I'm saying WE ALL, because not one of us hasn't. If you gotta go, just go, damn, it just hurts thinking about it!!! And the other thing that kills me is people who wait until you flush to let go again...like you can't hear it over the rush of water. I commonly think to myself...WOW the water here sounds different than at home.
You wonder why so many people have Pooper issues when they get old, it's because we spend 5 minutes holding in nature while the person next to us finishes up. Just let 'er rip...the only thing I ever think is, Damn, hope I didn't go to the same place that guy went for lunch!!! I say applaud the poor bastard for the wonderful symphony and wish them well...because you know you'll be there some day soon.