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I Hate Bumper Stickers!

I hate bumper stickers. Its not just that I hate then, I really despise them.

Do people that put them on their cars really think that a 4 inch x 12 inch piece of printed plastic is going to make me change my mind about some subject or make me think that they are better people? I want to be one of the first to tell them that it will not. Since that little piece of plastic is their little soapbox, similar to the The Angry Fat Man, I guess I can't fault them. But, that doesn't keep me from commenting on some of the less intelligent ones that I have seen.

First of all, we have the political bumper stickers. I admire the ability for someone to support a political candidate, but you must feel like a real dumbass driving around with a Gore-Lieberman bumper sticker today.

Then, you have the religious bumper stickers... Some of these stickers really amaze me. I saw one yesterday that said "Pray the Rosary". If you are Catholic, I suppose that is a good sentiment, but why does it need to be on a bumper sticker? If I am out driving and praying the rosary, then I would probably need "Jesus as my co-pilot". On those same lines, the WWJD stickers ask an interesting question... He would probably not be driving around with a bumper sticker on his car that said "What would I do?" Lastly, you have the Jesus fish / Darwin fish stickers that have been fighting it out on the back of cars recently... Give it up. Neither one is going to win at this point.

Next you have the bumper stickers that try to teach me a lesson... Things like "Hang up and drive." Instead, I'll concentrate on reading your bumper sticker instead.

Then you have the general sentiment bumper stickers. I saw one that offered a very simple sentiment today. It said "F$%k you." That was all. My, how the intelligence of the human race has declined.

The last one is the nearly ubiquitous "My child is an honor student at XYZ school." I hate to tell you, your kid may be an honor student, but you are an idiot. Hmm... I hope that Noah doesn't get too pissed off when I try to get out of putting that up on my car.

"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker." -Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)