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I'm Tired of Denver Drivers!

I almost got into my third accident this morning. Now before you jump to conclusions that I'm one of those people who speed and don't see the stupid things that I do and how I anger people on the road, STOP. I know I'm not the greatest driver in the world and I've had my fair share of close calls, all caused by me.

These people in Denver, on the other hand....OWN THE ROAD. This isn't a statement of financial governance that everyone pays taxes and those taxes go to fixing roads, this is a statement of fact. If you believe in something so bad, it must become fact, right???? Well I'll be a monkey's uncle if these no-brained nitwit granola eating ex-hippy corporate slime and their demon puppy offspring don't all think they own the road. I mean, I'm sorry if your little TT or Mitsu sports sled cost you too much, or your H2 is too big to even be on the road, but that doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want on OUR roads!!!

I'm happily driving to work this morning and I was halfway there, sipping my super big gulp of heart stopping diet-cola, when the lady behind me decides I'm going too slow. Mind you, I usually drive about 50 in the 45, so this hose beast was obviously in a hurry. We had just started out from a light, so of course I hadn't punched it to get up to full acceleration as I knew there was a light right over the hill. She proceeded to not only pass me, but glare at me, as if my car offended her senses. She was obviously one of those exception to the rule, non-blonde airheads and realized her pull off was about 50 yards ahead of us. So she jumps right in front of me, a good two feet from my front plate and proceeds to slam on her brake. I, of course not wanting to harm my recently repaired old-fart-sedan, slammed my breaks as well. I knew I was close to her, because I could barely see half of her license plate, and the "oh crap" feeling started to set in. You know, that pulse pounding, fight or flight, the airbag is about to shove my straw up my nose feeling? All the way into her little parking lot she was hitting her brakes and looking behind, as I slowly started moving again, probably afraid that I was going to get out my gat and start bustin some caps....but I fear I had left my gat at home, and my caffeine high was starting to kick in, so I just tootled on to work, somewhat flushed and happy to be alive.

Stoopid Denver Drivers!!!!!

"Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. " - Budd Schulberg